Episode 2: Don’t Stop Believin’

 Hold on to that feelin’

It’s my two week anniversary in sunny Los Angeles. Still no Childish Gambino sighting however,  I have engulfed a hell of a lot of tacos.

So, I promised myself  I would be real and true while writing this blog… Let me tell you, my first week in LA… I was completely and utterly miserable.  I felt  uncomfortable, homesick,  and a lot of anxiety. Then it clicked.  For the past decade I’ve been completely surrounded by people who looked… well, like me.  I attended a Historically Black College, upon graduating I moved to Crown Heights, Brooklyn. If you’ve never been to Crown Heights, just imagine a 1 mile wide, 2 mile long neighborhood compacted with  Jamaicans, Trinidadians and Haitians. It wasn’t until I walked around my new Koreatown neighborhood that I realized. Damn, I’m Black!

Then,  I had my first Saturday night alone in my gentrified KTown pad. I blame it all on  Snapchat.  One of my favorite social media outlets to partake in. I get an inside look into my friends lives for few seconds or sometimes minutes for the vain ones. While my comrades on the east coast were enjoying day parties, baby showers and weddings.  I was sipping cheap wine, watching Seinfeld and writing “can I PLEASE work with you” emails to my favorite filmmakers. The whole while, wishing I was 3000 miles closer to my friends.

Not to mention,  my 9-5 is gone. Steady hours, steady income. You know I actually looked in my bank account last pay period in hopes my boss maybe forgot to take me off payroll…Guess what?

He did not..

I know what you’re thinking.. stop whining right? I came out here to chase a career I’ve been lusting over for years. After waiting an hour for my good friend to pick me up from the Pacific Ocean Coast (Because of the traffic of course) I  walked along the beach. A four mile walk to be exact.. Did I mention the traffic in LA is horrendous? I  looked out into the Pacific and I just gasped.  I did it. I made it all the way here. Why am I complaining, why am I hiding from this city, why am I not trying to be great?

PCH2

Pacific Ocean Coast.

 

I finally had the courage to move and I was spending  my time in my room or on the balcony smoking splifs. This is NOT what I came out here to do. Well the smoking splifs on the balcony, yes.  But you get what I’m tryin’ to say.

After I got home from my walk on the beach I went to bed, woke up and didn’t leave the house for another two days. Mainly because my legs felt like noodles,(it was a really long walk.) The other part was that fear kicking my ass again.

On day 11 I received a response from one of the filmmakers I emailed. The one that has  actually inspired me the most. Her content is authentic and genuine. That woman knows how to engage an audience and tell a story.

She responded with  modesty and appreciation and for the last few days I’ve been a Script Supervisor for her upcoming series.

Two weeks ago, I was watching the very same director’s show on my work computer when I should have been typing and filing. Now,  I’m on her set, doing what I love, what I sought out to do. You know all I had to do was just believe in myself. Have a little confidence in what I want to accomplish. How dare I come out here being a scary cat. This is what I was meant to do.

Is difficult adjusting to another city? Hell yes, I miss the convenience of New York, I miss knowing where I’m going and getting there in the New York minute. I miss the Bodega,  I miss the girls from my old job, my mommy!

Oh, and  I miss the hell out of my friends. My friends however, have been the most supportive, confidence boosters ever. Not only my friends, women I went to college with, my family, ex-boo’s.  They believe wholeheartedly I can do this. They’ve been uplifting me in ways they never have before. If they know I can do it. I can do it.

This journey to becoming a comedy writer WILL NOT be easy. I have a lot of work to put in. I have to keep writing, stay ready, prayed up and focused. Only I can make this dream become a reality. Stay tuned…Keep Believing.

 

 

Episode 1: Finally! I’m Moving to LA… seriously.

The Power of Speaking your dreams into Existence.

For the past three years, I’ve been envisioning a life of taco trucks, weed dispensaries, Laguna Beach and just one Childish Gambino sighting. More than that, I’ve been obsessing over a career in becoming a television sitcom writer.  It’s inevitable. I’m an only child, the only shows I watched growing up was FRIENDS and Freaks & Geeks and I’ve already dated two Stand-Up comedians. Clearly, sitcom writer is my calling. So one random three o’clock in the morning, after my nighttime splif  and binge watching Jerrod Carmichael interviews. I literally cracked open my bong where I had $150.00 in cash  and I booked a one-way plane ticket to Hollywood.

So you’re probably like  “Christina, everyone moves to LA, what makes your story so special?”

Nothing really, but have you cried wolf about something you’re going to do for the past three years to EVERYONE?  Every 365 days its constant deja vu. Goes a little something like…

“Christina I thought you were moving to LA” -Douchebag #1

“Yeah, you shouldn’t go. You’re not mature enough yet, you’re not ready.” -Douchebag #2

“Oh, Christina you’re so dramatic, you always tryna do something and go somewhere. Just sit down.” Douchebag #3

Have you combined, collected and organized different neighborhoods you want to live in, applied for jobs, followed and added every Los Angeles Mexican restaurant on social media?  Its been exhausting explaining why I’m still cramped in my Brooklyn apartment, working a  dead end 9-5, where the janitor calls me stupid and my boss makes more money in a week than my yearly salary.

 When I made the announcement I was moving to LA in 2013, I was simply rebelling against my mediocre film school education. Imagine  paying $30,000 a year to sit in a class  watching Disney movies and writing a summary on what we felt. Nonetheless, I was gonna receive a degree for watching Disney movies and writing a summary about it. C’mon, I had to give Brooklyn one more year!

When I made the announcement I was moving to LA in 2014, I was in the worst situation of them all. I was in love. Love will have you feeling invincible. Like the world belongs to just you two and no one can come in. The only problem with that is I was losing sight of why I believe I’m on this Earth. Don’t mean to go off on a Kanye rant, but I truly believe we as a human race are here for a specific reason. Whether it be a Foot Doctor, President of the United States or a Comedy Writer, we were all born with a specific gift and or skill. It is our job to figure out what that is and use it to somehow help people or something. Long story short, this love was keeping me from my path and I once again missed my window to LA LA land.

When I made the announcement I was moving to LA in 2015. I WAS READY! Oh you could not tell me I wasn’t  going. This time I was single, Grad school was over,  I visited LA on my own which solidified my decision and I was in production for my first web series. The series I would bring and show Judd Apatow on his smart phone while we’re coincidentally stuck in an elevator somewhere in Culver City. That series. So when my window opened. Why did  I immediately close it? My web series was a disaster, happy hours every week really adds up, did I mention my job was five blocks away walking distance (Super convenient!) my mom is all the way in North Carolina by herself…by herself.. I don’t think I’m a great writer, Skid Row is a real place and real people like me end up there. No one is going to like me, I’m nowhere near cool enough to be  part of “LA culture”. Oh  and did I mention, I’m broke.

“Excuses are tools of the incompetent, set on monuments of nothingness. Those who use them are of no use.” -My Sorority Sisters. 

When I made the DECISION to move to LA in 2016. I was different. I was silent. I asked God for strength and guidance. I cleared my mind and made the conscious decision to step out of the box I’ve been comfortably nestled in for twenty-seven years. First thing I did was write in my journal. I said “Journal, I’m moving to Los Angeles, CA on June 1st 2016. Nothing and no one will stop me.  I stopped going to happy hours, I studied my craft, I entered writing contest, I asked for help, I was patient and then when it was time, I jumped. Even when it made sense to take a couple steps back, I pushed myself to keep going… Now I’m here… Let me tell you… it feels so damn good to chase my dreams.

Can’t say I did not speak this move into existence. I just had to realize the importance of my existence and execute what I already have inside me. If you have a vision, it will come true. Keep that vision in your head and close to your soul always. Don’t ever let it die, because you never know, three years later your vision could fruition and you must be ready.

Remember, we’re here for something and while paperwork and filing may pay the bills, are you fulfilled? If not, what the hell are you gonna do about it?

“Fear is real but  its  stupid. Fear will have you stuck, complacent and eventually bitter.

Don’t .Fear. Shit!” – Me

P.S. I’ll always love you Brooklyn. Peace.

ChrissyBwriting.