Sacrificing a Friendship for the Love of Writing.
I have a really awesome Best Friend. Like, we get along perfectly. She lifts me up when I’m down, she allows me to see things in a different way, she helps me write, listening to music with her is always an experience.
I admit, sometimes she can put me down, put me straight to sleep. Then again, there are those days when she has me crackin’ the heck up. I’m generally in a good mood when I’m around her. My pettiness is at an all time low because of her, when I wanna get away from people, my best friend and I plan the perfect smoke bomb, find a cozy spot to ourselves and just BE. It’s the ideal friendship.
So I’m officially ending our friendship today. NOT because I don’t love her or appreciate everything she’s done for me over the past seven years… Honestly, it’s because she’s too damn expensive. Add my BFF with Food, Lyft/Uber, Housing, Metro (because Lyft/Uber adds up), clothes for interviews, daily tacos, Bills, Bills, Bills, Did I mention my Sorority sisters came out here a couple weeks ago? We turned LaLa Land up!
Seriously, Los Angeles is expensive, I have no stable income yet. What am I doing?
“Living life and let my mama tellin’ I ain’t living right” -Rae Sremmurd.
You know how parents always go so much harder in school or in the workplace, especially over people with no kids? I finally realized (I’m a selfish human being that’s how.) it’s not to annoy the hell out of me, parents have a little person that is way more important than them.
Parents have to feed, bathe, clothe this little person (sometimes adult) Every. Single. Day. Parents go so hard (no pun) to make sure their child receives the best in life and help them evolve so the child doesn’t become a serial killer. The selflessness, the bravery it takes being a parent. I salute you!
I have to treat my writing exactly as if it were my child. Every day I must mold it, shape it, gain knowledge on how to survive and evolve in this city of Angels. I will not tell a lie. Not having my 9-5 has been difficult. However, I’m also not writing every day. I stopped emailing filmmakers I want to work with, I only apply for jobs online. I did not take advantage of LA’s resources. I’m not taking good care of my child.
” If I sacrifice my best friend for my craft, for LA, for my pockets. Well then, she’ll come back to me. Hopefully by the lb”.-Me.
This month I’ll be taking a closer look at opportunities in my field. “Networking” going to industry mixer’s, reconnecting with the filmmaker I worked with last month. Finding employment will release at least 100% of my tension… Saving it will to. Oh and of course. Writing. Writing. Writing.
No one can block me… From me… But me. I can’t be upset I have no income when I’m not putting forth the effort to make it happen. It all comes down to how bad do I really want this and how hard am I willing to work for it. The universe is automatically going to give you as much as you put out (no pun). Well LA I hope you’re ready because I’m straight out the Force-field this month. I ain’t Julying!
“I think I’m gonna like it here.” – Annie
P.S. I’ll come back to you Mary Jane.