Episode 22: I’m Cheating on You…

Let me remind you …(Reference: Blog Post #9 – I Got The Juice) I do not believe in monogamous relationships. Chalk it up to daddy issues or me just wanting to rebel against Western civilization societal concepts. In a world filled with seven billion people, I’m suppose to be with one of those 7 billion, for the rest of my LIFE? Nah. However, don’t confuse what I’m saying here. I believe in Love, watching my friends pop up on my Instagram with engagement rings genuinely brings me joy. It’s super cute. It’s just not right for me…Now, I make sure I relay these feelings to any man or women I choose to deal with, it’s up to them if they want to continue dating me or not. Because, in my early twenties I’ve lied about these feelings. I didn’t know I could choose to be with more than one person at a time. I lied and cheated on amazing partners which made me a coward. Thankfully they forgave me but still…It was pretty shitty to hurt them the way that I did.

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After revelation and acceptance, I thought I was done with the lies, turns out at age thirty I’m still cheating. Still lying… This time it’s worse… I’m Cheating on my one true love. The love that has been in and out of my life for the last decade. Yes, this love has put me through an emotional fuckin’ roller coaster, yes, I’ve spent restless nights dreaming about this love that inevitably has shaped a part of who I am today… But what do you do when something new, fresh and shiny suddenly burst into your life giving you maximum pleasure like you’ve never felt before?

Yes, you guessed it…I’m cheating on Comedy Writing with Yoga!

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A little over a year ago I began my Yoga journey after my homegirl hooked me up with a Front Desk gig at a Hot Yoga Studio in Beverly Hills. The studio was beautiful, the job was cool. No micromanaging, no 8 hour days, I could wear sweat pants. I clocked in made my money and left. I did however, begin to notice the clients, the teachers, the community of people practicing Yoga in 110 degrees. Nah. I had my one Yoga experience back in NY my good friend invited me to and it was an experience I did not want to have again. “This for white people” pretty sure those were my exact words to her. Plus out here in L.A. I was too focused on hating on Issa Rae, performing stand-up, falling in love and finding New Patient Deals around the city. Who had time for Yoga?

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I didn’t move to Los Angeles for Yoga. I’ve always wanted to make this vivid dream of writing come alive. I always pictured myself in a writer’s room. That’s where I belonged, that’s all I ever wanted. For the last ten years that’s all I ever craved, desired. All I have to do is make it in that room and I will find happiness forever. L.A. though. It will change you whether you like it or not. I noticed my changes. Lack of confidence, lack of funds. The vivid dream was fading and I didn’t know what to do. Fuck it…I took a Yoga class. A basic Vinyasa flow class, very foundational, very fuckin’ hot! I didn’t love it but I didn’t hate it either. With the studio offering thirteen different styles of classes I sporadically tried them all. Before I knew it I would clock out of work, grab a mat and head right into the hottest room ever.

A year has passed. I have two Yoga training’s under my belt. I teach classes filled with 20-30 people. I supervise the Front Desk now and I’m in the midst of receiving a 200Hr which will allow me to take my teaching skills anywhere in the country and beyond. Yoga has changed me back into the confident, vivid dreamer I was. My funds have significantly increased because teaching is the perfect side hustle. I can touch my toes, I have abs, I am part of this amazing community with beautiful humans that uplift each other, support each other. Oh and I am in love with teaching. Like, teaching Yoga is exhilarating, fun af, I get to help people change their bodies, minds. The smiles I see when they walk out of class, the work and energy they put in to class. It’s joy…But now that I’m a Yoga teacher the image of me sitting in a writer’s room doesn’t really do anything for me anymore.

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So, is that it. Am I not a comedy writer anymore? Besides this blog and Loud The Musical! I haven’t written anything. I don’t have a desire to write the way I desire curating a new playlist for Yoga Barre. Will I regret not pursuing writing ten years from now? Was it all a lie? Was it all a just a dream, will I ever meet Childish Gambino?

All these loans, So many loans… all this screenwriting education, I moved 3000 miles away from everything I ever known to write!

I guess once a cheater, always a cheater.

Stay Tuned.

One comment

  1. Z · February 19

    We get so committed to our dreams sometimes it’s more to the idea than the dream. And it takes a brave bish to embrace that and move on! Just as there lovers in the world there are many areas to be successful.


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