Episode 12: That Hippie is Almost 30!

Wow… I can’t believe that on this date 29 years ago I was forcefully coming out of my mother’s vagina. As I sit back and reflect on my life I have no choice but to be thankful. First obvious thing to be thankful for is I’m alive and that’s super cool…but It’s the knowledge I’ve attained, the degrees I’ve earned, the solid group of friends I’m among, the crazy but loyal family I have, the no diseases, no babies, I even have abs now...That in itself deserves appreciation. I’m living in the city of my dreams pursuing my dreams.

Yo, life is Lit!

 

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Now, I admit…I’ve been a little hard on myself this year. Moving to a new city, starting over from scratch is no easy lay.

Working two jobs and still not making ends meet is one thing but having two jobs in L.A. riding public transportation has got to be what a glimpse of hell feels like.

Image result for i'm broke  gifDon’t forget the extra pressure I put on myself so I can prove to everyone I can do this. Trust me, it’s a headache trying to please everyone for the likes.

This year I put my experiences working for TV studios, connecting with different people, auditioning for shows, performing stand-up all on the back burner why, because in my pot filled head I don’t have a series on television?  Mannnnn, F*** that.  I literally collected a group of thirteen strangers and finessed them into making my pilot episode for weed and food.

I’m Magic Af!

Image result for sailor moon gif   I just have to use my magic powers with no fear and no regrets. Like Sailor Moon in the third season.

I think it’s okay I’m hard on myself because it keeps my eye steady on the prize This comedy writer game ain’t for the weak. The politics, the ex-vine stars, the cliques. I have a lot more work to do. At almost 30 I’m ready to push hard for what I want. Only took three decades..

I must  stay fateful and trusting in myself and the big guy/girl up stairs that this journey though it may be filled with twists and turns; is my journey. Nobody else’s.

I’m glad God is giving me another chance at life so I continue pursuing this crazy dream.. Because other than  peace on Earth, Trump out of office, legalized marijuana I just want to write comedy and be really good at it. 

Today, I celebrate my life, my experiences and all that is to come. Today, a Hippie was born.

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Episode 11: My Brother’s and Me.

Growing up, life for me was a crystal stair. I’m an only child,  who grew up in a middle class suburb. My life didn’t have tacks in it or splinters,  it had Disney World once a year and mad Christmas gifts; filled with Dream houses galore, the most swagged out barbie clothes and cars,  I had internet and cable in my room at 9 years old (Which probably wasn’t the best idea)  Yo, I was hooked up with everything and the best part was, I didn’t have to share it with anyone.

I’ve always been content with being by myself, taking care of everything on my own. Because, well…who else is gonna do it?

     That all went to shit after I pledged a Sorority during undergrad. Don’t get me wrong, Sorority life was incredible and super crunk af but my life went from never sharing, to seeing a sorority sister with one of my outfits on across the quad. I was prepared for it so   I never complained. However, what I wasn’t prepared for was the plethora of tall, beautiful black men that were about to enter my life and change it forever.

     I met Duncan and Lo in the fall of 2010 at a party my Sorority sisters and I hosted. The party… Litty, obviously.  Shawty Lo songs were bumpin’ in the background as we played unorganized drinking games with Four Loko’s. Connections were made,  flirting was surfacing (thanks to the Four Loko’s)  and I’m pretty sure there was a grown man at the party walking like an Ape the entire night. Duncan nor Lo didn’t really stand out to me. Lo had no facial hair so I thought he was underage. Duncan was overweight, plus the clothes he was wearing that night made his weight even more noticeable. I can’t recall the exact moment I knew I wanted these men to be my Bff’s.

 

I do know for the last seven years they have completely, 100% had my back and they’ve certainly kept me humble.

Moving to a new city is hard. It’s even harder when you don’t know anyone in that new city and you’re frolicking around town pushing 30 trying to make new friends.  But of course, the Universe has a way of doing magical things. So,  in the Winter of 2017 when both Duncan and Lo moved to Los Angeles, I wasn’t surprised.

I knew it was divine…

Because, Duncan is the perfect gentleman, who always opens the door for me, we’ve made it an obligation to see every Kevin Hart show live together, I taught him how to roll a splif, he taught me how to be decent human being. He has this benevolent nature about him that wants you to be around him all the time. He’s an amazing friend.

 

Lo, on the other hand has strong beliefs and opinions, which causes us to bump heads a lot but I can’t deny, he’s a creative genius with a unique sense of humor. I believe in him, his ideas, his actions. He doesn’t allow me to get away with shit, sometimes that annoys me but I have to remember I’m not an only child anymore. These dudes are like, my brothers.

The dynamic of our relationship has changed though. We’re different. We’re adulting, grindin’ hard, we’re starting from the bottom out here. We have a  different  purpose now. We’re here to work, create and evolve. We’re in the midst of producing so many projects and cultivating so many connections it’s bound to make your head spin. I’m so fuckin’ happy I don’t have to do this by myself you have no idea…I’m even happier I get to create with my Bro’s. We might wanna kill each other every now again but we trust one another and that’s super vital for what we want to accomplish. They push me to be better than I believe I can. That’s the type of people you want to be surrounded by. I have the most legit creative crew in Los Angeles now… So trust and believe we’re going to be socially acceptable.

Stay Tuned…

 

*Duncan, Lo and I at Jerrod Carmichael’s screening of his new HBO Stand-up Special. 

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Episode 10: A Little Hippie…A Lot of Lit!

Ooouuu, bring out the confetti, blunts and Henny..It’s been one year living in Los Angeles and I’m ready for more!

A lot has happened in the past year. Looking back on my experiences living in LaLa Land, I know now those three years it took to move here from New York, was me manifesting my future. Duh…I’m exactly where I need to be. I can feel it in my gut. Sometimes it scares the dog shit out of me. Other times I’m willing and readily excited for what’s happening and what’s to come. Yo, if you’ve been reading the last nine blog post and don’t believe one bit you can live your dreams, then everything I’ve written from my soul holds no value. Since I moved to L.A. I feel lighter, healthier, more confident and proud.

I created and completed a pilot script that’s going into production in the next few weeks, I’ve performed stand-up comedy in front of strangers who actually laughed at my jokes, I chopped it up with Jerrod Carmichael one night, the very same dude who unknowingly coerced me into moving out here, I’ve worked for well known directors, I’ve booked gigs   as a  Script Supervisor for BET. I’ve found the most eccentric group of creatives: comedians. musicians, chefs, muralist.. All of which I couldn’t have made it through the year without and all of whom I call my friends. It’s been magical out here. It feels like this was divine.

However, let us  have a moment of silence for the two jobs I was fired from, living with a dirty Instagram model, working three jobs at the Same. Damn. Time, failing my DMV written test so many times me and the DMV lost count, I’ve been discriminated against, felt lonely, homesick and still haven’t met Childish Gambino. Ya’ll listen to me when I tell you this though…

there’s power in having faith, there’s power in believing in yourself and you can do the impossible if you’re up to it.

I don’t know what my life would be like if I were still living in Brooklyn. Who knows, I mean I could’ve done stand up out there, I could have shot an entirely new pilot with my cast and crew who I already knew and trusted. I didn’t…Mainly because I was high af when I was watching that Jerrod Carmichael interview where he told his tale of packin’ his bags and flying west coast. Ultimately,  it was time for me to grow the fuck up and actually go hard for something I truly love and desire.

California is home now. My two year lease says it, my overpriced Gas bill says it and I finally feel it.

Don’t get it twisted, I haven’t even graced the surface of what I want to accomplish out here. I feel like I haven’t even started. One year down in Los Angeles, I made it with a couple scratches. Nothin’ to cry to mom about…(except those couple times I called my mom crying) I’m ready for the big challenges now. I want to go through it all and most importantly I want to put out content that’s going to make you smile, maybe even chuckle once or twice. So, stick with me. Keep sending me your positive vibes and I promise to create something  real, unforgettable and for the culture. Oh and I also promise to remain a little hippie but a lot of LIT!

*Thathippieislit will return in the Fall of 2017*

Stay Tuned.

 

Episode 9: I Got The Juice…

 I would like to begin with you knowing that I make sure before I start dating any lucky prospect, they know there’s a possibility I would write about our relationship. Not in a defamatory way but in a way where I always come out looking the best.

I moved to Los Angeles from Brooklyn, New York. A city in which I assumed I would find my Mr. Big or Prince Akeem of Zamunda. Instead I found Mr. Broke,  Mr. Control Freak and Prince can’t express himself if he had a gun pointed to his head. It was time to be true to myself. I was literally putting myself in situations I barely got out of because I wasn’t keeping it real with them or me.

I don’t do relationships. Companionship yes. Relationship, no.

I’m what people might refer to as a “player” or the more feminine term “Playette”.

I believe it was the late great rapper Biggie Smalls who said it best  “I’m a pimp by blood, not relation, ya’ll still chase em, I replace em.” I learned sooner than later,  there’s seven billion people in the world. It’s impossible to believe I have to be with ONE person for the rest of my life. Doesn’t that sound a little off?  Or, I could be suffering from major commitment, abandonment and daddy issues. Whatever… For now, I’m going with” I don’t do relationships“.

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When I moved to LA, I had no intentions on dating. I mean, I did update my pictures on Tinder and Soul Swipe, I just wasn’t actively seeking anyone. When I wake up every morning the first thing I do after giving God an air pound is think about how I’m gonna make it as a writer. It completely consumes my mind to the point of near insanity. So yes, I admittedly need a little distraction, a little fun and if a dinner date or two comes out of it from an interesting gentleman, who am I to stop him?

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I don’t know what happened once I landed in this city but it seems as if I released an energy so strong it has men getting in line and taking numbers. Might be my awesome and chill personality or my New York attitude with a Afro that holds power. Whatever the reason dating in LA is amazing. No one wants a relationship. Everyone is focused on their creative en devours so dudes aren’t seeking a wife and/or making babies.Hashtag Jackpot!

The Uber driver (Because taking the Metro sucks.) He was super hot. An athlete from New York. He was Caribbean (enough said, right ladies?) When I thought I was gonna be alone for my first birthday in LA without my friends, he showed up at my door at the exact moment I was born with a candle lit Oreo birthday cake. He pushed  and encouraged me to get on stage and perform my first stand up routine. He believed in me that much. He also believed in polygamy because he definitely asked to have a threesome with me and my roommate. Well, maybe he wasn’t polygamous because now that I think about it,  when I declined his offer; he asked to sleep with her… by himself. After that, didn’t think we were gonna work out.

giphy (1).gifThe Rapper Dude ( There’s always a rapper.)  my first crush out here. He was strange,  weird, messy and his nonchalant attitude was pretty annoying but I loved how much he was so comfortable in his skin. He told the world every day this is who I am, love it or hate it.  There’s  something very sexy about someone who has courage without being vocal or obnoxious about it. I did that “Like” every one of his pictures on Instagram thing so I could get his attention. Because at 27 years old there’s no way I could go up to him in person and tell him how I feel. That would be crazy right?   A few minutes later he slid in my DM’s. We flirted, we connected but we’re just “friends”. That nonchalant attitude is a little to real for an overly dramatic individual like myself.  What I take seriously compared to what he thinks matters. Let’s just say we weren’t on the same page let alone same chapter.

The Youngin’ (Embracing the Cougar inside me.) At first I thought it was a coincidence I kept getting in the same Uber Pool with a good looking, bearded chocolate fella. He would ride in the back seat listening to music as I sat up front  trying to figure out why after riding with him a couple times he wouldn’t say anything to me. I switched it up one morning and rode in the back seat along side him.

giphy (1).gifI ran my “would you like a piece of gum?” game. Lo and behold it still works like a charm because since then we’ve enjoyed the top of Runyon Canyon at Midnight,  I conquered my fear of Ice Skating with him and he took me to hands down the best Japanese restaurant I’ve been to in this life time. Age ain’t nothing but a number but I think it matters when the dude you’re dating is preparing for college while I’m preparing for my thirties. Don’t get me wrong he’s pretty mature for his young age. However, our experiences are different and it shows.

So I’ve had a few mishaps…

That’s okay though, I just moved here eight months ago. Like I said, I moved to LA with no expectations on finding the “one”. My focus is clearly on how I’m going to get those seven billion people in the world to tune into my stories. I’m continuously evolving into the woman God wants me to be. I know I deserve an amazing person who understands who I am, and I how I roll. Maybe Childish Gambino, a fellow Comedian or a Graffiti Artist with Locs and a captivating smile.  Who knows? I do know two things for sure, no matter what happens in my love life, I’m embracing it and writing every experience down.

Stay tuned.

Episode 8: Magical Mystery Ride.

  Exactly one year ago,  I took an uncomfortable Frontier flight to Los Angeles, California for a beyond overdue vacation. 

During that time, I was living in Brooklyn, NY dressed head to toe in the finest winter wear, walking to work in four ft of snow,  living in an apartment where my bedroom felt more like a walk-in closet. Let’s just say it was time for a break.  Not only was it my first vacation solo dolo,  I needed confirmation that Los Angeles- the city I’ve been wanting to live in for years was for me.

Fast forward through  a shitty break-up, mucho insecurities, fears and anxiety, my first web series going to shit, unintentionally living with an untidy IG model, getting fired..(Twice) and no money I can finally say 365 days later. I live in Los Angeles  and…

It. Is. Magic.

All the shit that happened in the past year was worth it. I’m currently sitting at my desk typing this blog post, with a view of LA from the 17th floor that will  make New York City’s skyline look like pooh. Don’t worry NY Tribe, I still find ways to mention Brooklyn every day, I make sure everyone knows where I’m from and I totally use phrases like, “Deadass” and “Yo, B”. I Milly Rock when a YG song plays at a party and I miss the culture of New York, but I must say it again…LA is magic.

In six months I completely started a new life.  New life swag includes schmoozing at Art Shows in DTLA, completely being myself at “Industry” events, jogging through USC’s campus,  rockin’ out at Lady Gaga  concerts with my roommate, Warehouse parties, midnight trips to Runyon Canon, strolling through Leimert Park to hear underground hip hop or the illest drum circle get down, thrifting on Melrose. The marijuana out here is beyond extraordinary. I’ve met some incredible, creative, like minded people thus far, from different backgrounds, different races and managed not to say anything to offend them. Hashtag growth!

I performed my stand-up routine  for the first time. Fellow comics all signing up for their five minutes of open mic fame. I was nervous up until I touched the mic. I had laughs… real…genuine laughs. Laughs that came from the diaphragm.  I dated stand-up comedians before. They never told me I was going to have that feeling. It was comfortable, therapeutic and happened in what seemed like all of 2.5 seconds.

Now, I’ll admit I didn’t allow myself to give LA a chance. I’m a stubborn one, prideful as well, as free as I proclaim to live I get very antsy, I feel unsure sometimes. I couldn’t see the light beyond all the bullshit that kept happening to me. Don’t get it twisted, my life is not all palm trees and Childish Gambino’s. I’m workin’ my ass off out here. Hustlin’ and grndin’ to make sure these dreams come true.

I found my center.

My focus is clear.

My energy has been given to God.

My heart is completely open to new people who want to connect on a creative level.  I’m finally doing whatever the hell I want to do. I wore pigtails in my hair the other day, I ate Oreo’s for dinner  for a week straight and I was super ecstatic about it.  My mind is free, my body is free and I’m a fuckin’ Goddess out here. Feels good to say that. Feels even better to feel that. All I had to do was jump. Now I’m here.   Despite all the craziness and unfairness in the world such as Childish Gambino having a baby by another woman. I’m in a mysterious place where magic is happening and I’m along for the ride.

 

Just jump.

 

Stay Tuned.

Episode 7: Why I’m Boycotting ‘Insecure’… Why You Should, Too.

   Upon graduating with my Bachelor’s from the dopest College ever, I moved to Durham, North Carolina where I  smoked  Wine Wood-Tip Black n Mild’s every day on the front porch of my mama’s house. I didn’t know I was in a rut until my shift at Applebee’s when a customer tipped me in dimes and nickels.

Am I worth more than this? 

Unlike my friends who had plan their lives post grad. I, the creative had nothing but Black n Milds and watching back to back episodes of Family Feud in my future.

I wanted to write screenplays, tell stories. I could imagine me doing this from time to time, but Steve Harvey has a way of locking you in. Life became repetitive and gloomy, my mother had me on a curfew, Applebee’s was not cool, the only thing keeping me sane was the hope that the man I was in love with felt the same… He did not…  So, a bitter depression came over me. Quite honestly, nothing could snap me out of it. Not even the encouraging words from my mom telling me…

” Girl, you betta snap out of It”.

During my all lights off, fetal position phase,  I stumbled upon a collection of Black Web Series on Youtube. This was unlike something I had ever seen before. Stories from black people on the web for free?

I was engulfed in everything Black n Sexy TV, then appeared Awkward Black Girl. Issa Rae, this woman who had natural hair (something I never thought was cool) had me Binge watching her show right out of my depression.

I found myself laughing, crying,  and yelling at my laptop with excitement from these characters, these real ass characters with people who look like me conducting them. I had to get my act together. I had to take part of this movement. I had to move to Los Angeles, CA immediately so I can create the stories I wanted to tell the world.

Fast forward five years later, I’m natural, the smell of a Black N Mild makes me queasy, the man I loved is married with a baby on the way. Oh, and I finally made it to LA.

The past five months in LA has been pretty insane, I’m adjusting here, growing, trying to find my lane, thinking to myself… Okay Christina… You made it, you have two jobs, a house, not eating tuna sandwiches everyday, go me, Black Queen Magic… Life though, it truly has a way of smacking the shit out of you. My smack in the face was looking up at a billboard on one of the busiest streets in LA with Issa Rae’s face on it. Might I add, with a premiere date of her new show on my Birthday. It stopped me in my tracks. The excitement I had for her was overwhelming. Can you say watch party on my Birthday?! I smiled and even chuckled a bit. Then suddenly, the smile went away. I wasn’t excited anymore. I was disappointed…

Disappointed that I had let five years pass me by without one story on the screen to show for it. Disappointed that I’ve been living in La La Land for almost half a year and haven’t met one shooter, disappointed that Childish Gambino is having a baby by another woman! Okay, that’s a little off topic but you feel me. Five years later and I’m nowhere closer to where I should be. I can’t blame no one but myself. However, I’m feeling a little insecure about Insecure. This amazing content Issa Rae has created is left unwatched by one of her biggest fans because I can’t pick up a pen and just write.

 When I tell people I’m a comedy writer the very first question is…

“Do you watch Issa Rae show?”

“You wanna be like Issa Rae?”

 

It stings a bit, but how dare I watch her show without putting in any effort to create my own. This is how I currently feel and the great Kanye West said it’s okay to feel. Obviously, do NOT boycott ‘Insecure’  Issa Rae has created something wonderful and it’s well deserving. She worked her ass of for years, her dreams are coming to life; that is amazing AF.  Everyone should enjoy her content and everyone is. Everyone but me…

 

The episode that had me hooked.

Awkward Black Girl: Season. 1, Episode 1

 

Episode 6: 90 Days in Sunny LA!

In 90 days, I managed to land a tolerable job and secure a house.

Yes… you heard me… A house (Imagine Craig’s house from Friday without the drive-by’s.)  I’m here now. I’m officially and legally bonded to Los Angeles.

Never have I ever worked, slaved, prayed and sweat so much since I moved out here. I’ve spent weeks hating, comparing and complaining about LA.

“Too much sun here, where the rain at?

“Did I just get fired from my job through text message?”

“You don’t really expect me to eat pizza from here do you?”

” Did I just get fired from another job?”

” Wait, did that homeless man just slap the hell out of a random person?”

“Why don’t I have a Netflix Series yet?”

I’ve had thoughts of going back home. Many thoughts. How comforting it would be to just nestle up with my  mommy at her house, or just go back to Brooklyn working at the dysfunctional 9-5 I was desperately trying to run away from. I know New York and I know Durham, North Carolina. My experiences there have been easy and forgiving.

Then, I saw him. No… not Childish Gambino (still awaiting that glorious moment.) The stand-up comedian from Winston Salem, NC who moved to Los Angeles with a one-way ticket his sister brought him. He’s managed to gain his own HBO Stand-up special and score an NBC sitcom named after him. It was Jerrod Carmichael’s interview I watched the night he inspired me to buy my one-way ticket and there he was sitting 10 ft away from me in one of the most famous comedy clubs in the world.

I did nothing.  I said nothing. Why?  Mainly because I thought if I did say something it would kinda go like this…

“IT’S YOUR FAULT, MR. CARMICHAEL  IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT I’M OUT HERE STRUGGLING, I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!

I don’t think that would have been the best approach . So I ended up glancing  over at him every minute and a half and continued enjoying the Comedy Roast that was going on before me.

That night was awesome. So much comedic energy in that room.  From inconspicuous glances to  Jerrod Carmichael to accidentally bumping into Bill Bellamy.  That night in the Comedy Store was the first time I felt like I was in right place at the right time. I have nothing stopping me or holding me back now.

I’ve been scared shit-less since this new journey but…

“I’m still standing, I’m still strong” (Love that movie!)

Maybe, just maybe… Fear isn’t so bad after all. Fear has lead me to LA, fear has allowed me to experience things I never have before. This whole time I’ve been trying not to be scared when being scared is what’s been pushing me to go harder. If you love something, truly love something and  you don’t have knots in your stomach when you think about it then you aren’t passionate enough about it.  I’m slowly falling in love with Los Angeles but more so I’m falling in love with myself. Discovering new traits and abilities I never would have discovered if I didn’t come here. Yes, becoming a comedy writer is my dream but I’m more so intrigued with who I’m becoming as a woman, as a human being.

I was  sweeping my porch the other day,  I paused, looked around and realized I had a front yard. I didn’t have that four months ago.

As my birthday  approaches in four weeks,  I’ve picked up on a few life lessons I believe can save the world. I’ll get to that in my next blog, but for now if you are thinking about moving, about leaving home and doing something different, being somewhere different. Go. Do it. Young, old, with kids or without. Make a change for you. I promise you’ll have no regrets. The only regret you’ll ever have is not going for it. If it doesn’t work out, I’ll buy your one-way ticket back home ;-).

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My LA Pad, isn’t it adorbs?!

*Side Note: Gotta give credit to all the people who transferred funds into my account and the people who encouraged me. Forcing me to keep going. Also it wouldn’t even be remotely possible for me to go through all this without a few angels looking out for me. Thanks to the big guy or girl upstairs!

 

Stay Tuned.