Lyft, Loud & Yoga.

Another summer in Los Angeles. Lately, it’s been hot as the Devil’s butthole. I love it, however Some L.A. residents aren’t taking it so well. Can the heat control your sanity?Like, it wasn’t pleasing to my eyes to see a grown woman laying on the streets of Downtown L.A. butt ass naked, or the racist outburst from the 7-11 clerks yelling that  “All black people are the same” because a black dude stole a soda, let us not forget the pile of dog shit I accidentally stepped into barefoot…All this happened in a matter of one week by the way.  I’ve been living in Los Angeles for two years and still, I am surprised by my life happenings.

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After months of being financially disabled, missing my closest friends weddings and baby showers, dodging my landlord, I’m actually making strides back to the lit Christina…the one who always had big dreams with ambition and faith to make them happen. I quit my 9-5 over a year ago. It has its ups and Lord knows it has its downs. I had to take a step back and reflect on this new found free time. Within my reflection time I realized I’m an entitled, spoiled only child who lacks discipline and has no hustling mentality. When everything has been practically handed to you your entire life and then suddenly you’re out in the world alone to fend for yourself, you may experience a bunch of bullshit along the way.

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However, to say I haven’t done anything with my chosen freedom would be a lie. I signed up for Lyft a ridesharing app where I have to uncomfortably drive people around in the backseat of an overpriced rental car. I drive enough just to make my car payment most weeks. You can’t tell me there’s one Lyft driver who’s excited to drive for Lyft. I’m grateful to finally be able to get around the city without stepping on to the piss & shit aroma the metro bus offers but driving for Lyft sucks balls. It also doesn’t help that I don’t really know how to navigate the city and I’m a pretty average driver considerably.

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I didn’t move all the way to L.A. to chauffeur people around. I also didn’t move out here to become a teacher but within this free time I found a love and appreciation for Yoga; specifically Yoga Barre– a ballet, cardio, upbeat, lit af class that has transformed not only my body but my mind. I enrolled in Yoga Barre training with hopes to finally get some abs but in the end I’m now a certified instructor guiding others to find love for their bodies at three different Hot Yoga studios. It feels amazing, to just be able to express my personality and have fun with a group of diverse individuals. I’m falling in love with teaching and I’m looking forward to expanding my knowledge and practice.

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Now…As for Loud! The Musical (which you can find on youtube here’s the link:  Loud! The Musical

Loud, is my first visual content released to the world wide web. I wrote it, I produced it, I acted in it and I even directed a couple scenes. Yo, this shit is hard. I love it so much it frustrates me. When things aren’t perfect which really means when things don’t go my way I overthink, over criticize but undermine my abilities to make this happen.  I know what you’re thinking…“Keep believing in yourself, keep pushing” I get it and I am. Right now though, I need a mental break from this whole trying to break into the industry thing. I really just want to focus on me…and Yoga…and weed.

So stay tuned and Namaste.

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Season 2. Episode 2. I Live in L.A.

I feel good. like… beautiful, creative, bold, indestructible good. I decided to take a break from my normal routine and it really has me feelin’ myself.  Yes, I’m still writing. Contrary to the very little appearances on stage I miss doing stand-up. The pressure though, it can get to you.

Even if life is going great when you aren’t doing what you love it’s like you’re not living the right life. Does that make sense? Anyways, I’ve been way too hard on myself to be this super successful comedian right now that I forgot I’m still young af, I have no kids, I’m not married. I can literally do whatever the hell I want. Except eat a baby.

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I read my last blog post and I’m like,

“Yoooo Christina from six weeks ago chill out”

Everything is fine, nothing is my fault. I have done nothing wrong. I  want something better for myself and I believe if you lead with your heart you’ll find that better.  Deciding to take a break to evolve my mind, body and soul has set me free from all the  anxiety, fears and noises in my head telling me I’ll never be good enough. 

So, after living here 18 months, I think I’m beginning to understand what it takes to survive here. It’s actually pretty simple all you have to do is…

Stay open and that goes for moving to any new city, create in real life how you see yourself in your dreams. Talk to people of all races, genders, be polite and actually listen to people. Remember the names of every person you connect with. Stay focused but have the time of your life because all these new experiences are gearing you up for  what’s meant for you.

Keep a solid circle of friends who are willing to do anything to see you win. I can’t believe I have that.

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It’s also pretty dope to have a partner out here who is more excited about your dreams than you, someone who kisses your butt cheeks every morning. Let’s just say I can’t believe I have that either. Woot!

Land a job that supports your dreams as well as keeps you sustained. I know, sounds impossible right? It’s not.

Listen to every album Childish Gambino ever  made. (Except the first two.)

Do something completely left field, I’m a certified  Yoga Barre instructor.  Let me tell you, it changed me. Yes, I have a six pack now.

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This trippy journey I’m on has me feelin like that moment right after Alladin asked Jasmine  “Do you trust me?”

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Butterflies are literally swarming in my stomach every morning because I’m so excited for what’s to come. What new adventure I’m about to endure. As I prepare to start teaching yoga classes and the release of my Weed Musical series, I can’t help but look back on the shitty times out here and just be grateful for everything I’ve built thus far. I haven’t even grasped the fact that I’m only getting started.

Stay Tuned oh and Namaste.

 

 

 

Season 2-Episode 1: Hippie Hopes.

Written live from her cozy, danked out bedroom for the World Wide Web. Welcome ladies and gentleman to a new season of That Hippie is Lit! 

Happy New Year, most importantly Happy Black History Month!

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Don’t forget to be relentless, proud and  apologetically Black this month. It’s important. The Europeans gave us 28 days (sometimes 29) to act up and act up we shall do. At least I know I am. I spent the last long af month, frustrated, anxious and low-key depressed trying to figure out what’s next. I almost lost sight of why I’m living  in L.A. I mean, this is the city I’ve been dreaming of for years how dare I be in constant questioning and confusion.

I’m tired. Tired of making excuses for myself, tired of being tired and lazy, tired of not going hard enough while I sit back and watch my comedy peers on Instagram, climb their way to success. Sidebar, it’s also super strange living in a world where majority of my friends are starting families and I’m just starting my life.

Let’s be honest, I had no focus last year. Hustling PA jobs, working two jobs for the man, co-hosting a podcast, blogging, shooting a pilot, making music. I was everywhere but nowhere at the same time. Yes, in my head I’m Sailor Moon and yes sometimes I exude that energy but even Sailor Moon took time  to make a game plan. She loved saving people, saving the Sailor Scouts, saving Tuxedo Mask. It was her moon given gift to share love and create hope for everyone. My gift is my ability to create art. My ability to speak and have this odd, unique voice that no one has but me. I have something to say with the expectancy that it will bring hope to others. Don’t tell anyone this but as an only child I feel like I’m meant to be alone. When I write stories and share it with others I feel a sense of togetherness and understanding. I guess that means this is what I’m meant to do.

Giving up is not an option, neither is being comfortable with mediocrity.

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So listen, I’m going to take this stand-up comedy thing seriously this year. I know, I know I keep saying it but for real,  I spoke to some L.A. comedy legends over the Christmas break. I met them at this Wig-mas party. (A Party where everyone has to wear wigs) Anyway, they inspired me. These middle-aged white men told me the realist shit when it comes to this comedy game. I soaked it all up and I’m ready to relinquish it to this city.

I don’t know if it’s because I dated all those stand-up comedians in the past, or the rush I get when I’m on stage  while people laugh at my jokes but I’m gonna give it a real shot. Like perform three nights a week shot, like, instead of spending $5 on milkshakes I’ll spend it on open mic’s type shot. Like, gotta take the bus home from the comedy club because the Uber cost too much shot. Because, yes I came out here for comedy writing but out here I can be anyone and do anything I ever thought was impossible. My mind was so closed, thinking it’s comedy writing or death!

I, That Hippie is Lit can be who I want to be, especially while I’m on stage. Plus, I’m way funnier than the comedians I dated in the past and they aren’t doing too bad for themselves.

 

Image result for stand up comic gifSo, come see me on stage one night…Don’t worry, I’ll continue to write stories. I actually want to knockout a couple screenplays this year. Oh and I just got a hosting gig for an open mic at this vibey, vegan- friendly cafe. I’m curating as well so no pressure right?

I’m excited to be here again. The fact that its 85 degrees in February helps. I’m going in to my second year living in Los Angeles with  a couple bruises and a strained neck muscle (long story)

I’m also going into my second year with faith, hope and the desire to work for my dreams. No hold backs.

Stay Tuned.

 

 

 

 

Episode 9: I Got The Juice…

 I would like to begin with you knowing that I make sure before I start dating any lucky prospect, they know there’s a possibility I would write about our relationship. Not in a defamatory way but in a way where I always come out looking the best.

I moved to Los Angeles from Brooklyn, New York. A city in which I assumed I would find my Mr. Big or Prince Akeem of Zamunda. Instead I found Mr. Broke,  Mr. Control Freak and Prince can’t express himself if he had a gun pointed to his head. It was time to be true to myself. I was literally putting myself in situations I barely got out of because I wasn’t keeping it real with them or me.

I don’t do relationships. Companionship yes. Relationship, no.

I’m what people might refer to as a “player” or the more feminine term “Playette”.

I believe it was the late great rapper Biggie Smalls who said it best  “I’m a pimp by blood, not relation, ya’ll still chase em, I replace em.” I learned sooner than later,  there’s seven billion people in the world. It’s impossible to believe I have to be with ONE person for the rest of my life. Doesn’t that sound a little off?  Or, I could be suffering from major commitment, abandonment and daddy issues. Whatever… For now, I’m going with” I don’t do relationships“.

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When I moved to LA, I had no intentions on dating. I mean, I did update my pictures on Tinder and Soul Swipe, I just wasn’t actively seeking anyone. When I wake up every morning the first thing I do after giving God an air pound is think about how I’m gonna make it as a writer. It completely consumes my mind to the point of near insanity. So yes, I admittedly need a little distraction, a little fun and if a dinner date or two comes out of it from an interesting gentleman, who am I to stop him?

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I don’t know what happened once I landed in this city but it seems as if I released an energy so strong it has men getting in line and taking numbers. Might be my awesome and chill personality or my New York attitude with a Afro that holds power. Whatever the reason dating in LA is amazing. No one wants a relationship. Everyone is focused on their creative en devours so dudes aren’t seeking a wife and/or making babies.Hashtag Jackpot!

The Uber driver (Because taking the Metro sucks.) He was super hot. An athlete from New York. He was Caribbean (enough said, right ladies?) When I thought I was gonna be alone for my first birthday in LA without my friends, he showed up at my door at the exact moment I was born with a candle lit Oreo birthday cake. He pushed  and encouraged me to get on stage and perform my first stand up routine. He believed in me that much. He also believed in polygamy because he definitely asked to have a threesome with me and my roommate. Well, maybe he wasn’t polygamous because now that I think about it,  when I declined his offer; he asked to sleep with her… by himself. After that, didn’t think we were gonna work out.

giphy (1).gifThe Rapper Dude ( There’s always a rapper.)  my first crush out here. He was strange,  weird, messy and his nonchalant attitude was pretty annoying but I loved how much he was so comfortable in his skin. He told the world every day this is who I am, love it or hate it.  There’s  something very sexy about someone who has courage without being vocal or obnoxious about it. I did that “Like” every one of his pictures on Instagram thing so I could get his attention. Because at 27 years old there’s no way I could go up to him in person and tell him how I feel. That would be crazy right?   A few minutes later he slid in my DM’s. We flirted, we connected but we’re just “friends”. That nonchalant attitude is a little to real for an overly dramatic individual like myself.  What I take seriously compared to what he thinks matters. Let’s just say we weren’t on the same page let alone same chapter.

The Youngin’ (Embracing the Cougar inside me.) At first I thought it was a coincidence I kept getting in the same Uber Pool with a good looking, bearded chocolate fella. He would ride in the back seat listening to music as I sat up front  trying to figure out why after riding with him a couple times he wouldn’t say anything to me. I switched it up one morning and rode in the back seat along side him.

giphy (1).gifI ran my “would you like a piece of gum?” game. Lo and behold it still works like a charm because since then we’ve enjoyed the top of Runyon Canyon at Midnight,  I conquered my fear of Ice Skating with him and he took me to hands down the best Japanese restaurant I’ve been to in this life time. Age ain’t nothing but a number but I think it matters when the dude you’re dating is preparing for college while I’m preparing for my thirties. Don’t get me wrong he’s pretty mature for his young age. However, our experiences are different and it shows.

So I’ve had a few mishaps…

That’s okay though, I just moved here eight months ago. Like I said, I moved to LA with no expectations on finding the “one”. My focus is clearly on how I’m going to get those seven billion people in the world to tune into my stories. I’m continuously evolving into the woman God wants me to be. I know I deserve an amazing person who understands who I am, and I how I roll. Maybe Childish Gambino, a fellow Comedian or a Graffiti Artist with Locs and a captivating smile.  Who knows? I do know two things for sure, no matter what happens in my love life, I’m embracing it and writing every experience down.

Stay tuned.