Episode 7: Why I’m Boycotting ‘Insecure’… Why You Should, Too.

   Upon graduating with my Bachelor’s from the dopest College ever, I moved to Durham, North Carolina where I  smoked  Wine Wood-Tip Black n Mild’s every day on the front porch of my mama’s house. I didn’t know I was in a rut until my shift at Applebee’s when a customer tipped me in dimes and nickels.

Am I worth more than this? 

Unlike my friends who had plan their lives post grad. I, the creative had nothing but Black n Milds and watching back to back episodes of Family Feud in my future.

I wanted to write screenplays, tell stories. I could imagine me doing this from time to time, but Steve Harvey has a way of locking you in. Life became repetitive and gloomy, my mother had me on a curfew, Applebee’s was not cool, the only thing keeping me sane was the hope that the man I was in love with felt the same… He did not…  So, a bitter depression came over me. Quite honestly, nothing could snap me out of it. Not even the encouraging words from my mom telling me…

” Girl, you betta snap out of It”.

During my all lights off, fetal position phase,  I stumbled upon a collection of Black Web Series on Youtube. This was unlike something I had ever seen before. Stories from black people on the web for free?

I was engulfed in everything Black n Sexy TV, then appeared Awkward Black Girl. Issa Rae, this woman who had natural hair (something I never thought was cool) had me Binge watching her show right out of my depression.

I found myself laughing, crying,  and yelling at my laptop with excitement from these characters, these real ass characters with people who look like me conducting them. I had to get my act together. I had to take part of this movement. I had to move to Los Angeles, CA immediately so I can create the stories I wanted to tell the world.

Fast forward five years later, I’m natural, the smell of a Black N Mild makes me queasy, the man I loved is married with a baby on the way. Oh, and I finally made it to LA.

The past five months in LA has been pretty insane, I’m adjusting here, growing, trying to find my lane, thinking to myself… Okay Christina… You made it, you have two jobs, a house, not eating tuna sandwiches everyday, go me, Black Queen Magic… Life though, it truly has a way of smacking the shit out of you. My smack in the face was looking up at a billboard on one of the busiest streets in LA with Issa Rae’s face on it. Might I add, with a premiere date of her new show on my Birthday. It stopped me in my tracks. The excitement I had for her was overwhelming. Can you say watch party on my Birthday?! I smiled and even chuckled a bit. Then suddenly, the smile went away. I wasn’t excited anymore. I was disappointed…

Disappointed that I had let five years pass me by without one story on the screen to show for it. Disappointed that I’ve been living in La La Land for almost half a year and haven’t met one shooter, disappointed that Childish Gambino is having a baby by another woman! Okay, that’s a little off topic but you feel me. Five years later and I’m nowhere closer to where I should be. I can’t blame no one but myself. However, I’m feeling a little insecure about Insecure. This amazing content Issa Rae has created is left unwatched by one of her biggest fans because I can’t pick up a pen and just write.

 When I tell people I’m a comedy writer the very first question is…

“Do you watch Issa Rae show?”

“You wanna be like Issa Rae?”

 

It stings a bit, but how dare I watch her show without putting in any effort to create my own. This is how I currently feel and the great Kanye West said it’s okay to feel. Obviously, do NOT boycott ‘Insecure’  Issa Rae has created something wonderful and it’s well deserving. She worked her ass of for years, her dreams are coming to life; that is amazing AF.  Everyone should enjoy her content and everyone is. Everyone but me…

 

The episode that had me hooked.

Awkward Black Girl: Season. 1, Episode 1

 

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Episode 4: THE LENNY’s

Do you believe in Destiny?

I do. Only because I make many attempts to have complete control over my life and I always fail miserably. A higher source of power is undoubtedly calling the shots around here. Once you believe in it and walk through the path you were meant to be on, everything falls into place.

But first, let’s recap:

        *Los Angeles has been crazy. Seriously, I’ve been landing gigs that have taken me to parts of LA I don’t even think locals have experienced.

*Still no Childish Gambino sighting.

* Too much taco consumption will add to your weight.

*They charge extra for shopping/grocery bags.

*It really doesn’t rain in Southern California, the grass here looks gross.

*I will never ride the Metro Red Line past 10pm….Again.

I ended a relationship that wasn’t healthy, or fun anymore. Let’s keep it real.  If someone does not want you, seriously take that as they don’t want you and move the hell on. Moving to this city (and yea I know it’s only been 6 weeks) but I’ve had a few lessons and one of those lessons taught me to let go of people who had no interest in what I’m trying to do out here. It’s rough, it sucks  but if you not here to support me, if you don’t believe in me or my vision…I believe the lyrics from the 2000 smash hit Bye Bye Bye by the classic boy band Nsync said it best:

I loved you endlessly,
When you weren’t there for me.
So now it’s time to leave
And make it alone.

Don’t wanna be a fool for you
Just another player in your game for two
You may hate me, but it ain’t no lie,
Baby, bye, bye, bye…

Now, let’s get to the story…

One of my prayers before moving to Los Angeles was to surround myself with individuals that have a passion and likeness for the arts. Because, sitting behind a desk for 40 hours a week and hanging out with a clique of teachers wasn’t really giving me the writing vibe I needed. Basically, I didn’t really have someone  who I could bounce ideas off of, or who wanted to write ten minutes of jokes , or shoot a scene for a web series.

In LA,  you’re either an Uber/Lyft driver, homeless or  you get paid for your art. (It is possible to be all three.)  I believe I mentioned in my previous blog,  LA is an  expensive  city especially on a freelance writer salary.  Cost of housing is ridiculous, having a roommate out here is the norm.

With hopes and the mere belief I would find someone I could share ideas with or create with, I was more  focused on moving  across the country into an apartment with a complete stranger.

Then, Destiny and all its power showed itself in the shape of a 6’3, slim man with semi blond locke’s and a peace chain around his neck.

Once I peeped the chain, heard him strum  my favorite Lauryn Hill song on his acoustic guitar, spotted his “Hakuna Matata” tattoo and watched him pearl the perfect blunt, I knew right there and then Destiny brought us together. A young black man with vision and ambition. These days, especially after recent events, its comforting to have that energy around me and it actually gives me hope for this Country.

I don’t have my girlfriends I can just hit up for drinks yet. I can’t just hop on the China Bus and head to DC or NC to see my friends or my mom.   I do however, live with this  man from the Carolina’s (Destiny)  who is kind, thoughtful and ready and willing to show the world his art. He’s young and vibrant and there’s good vibes flowing all up and through our Koreatown sublet.   Now, I’m not completely naive to the fact that yes, we are  attractive young black people who share the same interests. We drink wine together, we complain about our jobs to each other, we go to California Donuts in the middle of night and it’s awesome. We binge watch Seinfeld together and have writing sessions. We share ideas, he makes the best mashed potatoes and he loves my cheese filled burgers.

Despite the stigma I do believe a man and woman can live under the same roof and be strictly platonic.

     *Insert side eye emoji*

In a few weeks my roommate and I will be moving into our very own place. An entire year together to make some of our dreams come true, create content and get acquainted with the new taco trucks in our new neighborhood  I won’t let him quit and he keeps me positive, mix that in with a little Destiny and we might have something.

Stay Tuned.

Blog Post 4.2 roomie

Lenny and I on our ritual taco run.